A Heartfelt Goodbye Letter to 2022

Every new year, we make giant new resolutions and look forward to crushing them all from the day of 1 as if no one, absolutely no one, can stop us from hitting on our target. But guess what?

Within a few weeks (in some cases, days), we forget our new year’s resolutions until another year starts and we repeat the same lines, ‘this will be my best year. I will make it happen without any excuses’

The cycle keeps repeating itself because we are always so excited to start the new year without bidding a proper goodbye to the existing year.

We cannot achieve our new goals with the old mindset, mistakes, regrets, and unrealized & unconscious toxic habits. We have to give a proper closure to 2022 so that we don’t take away anything rotten in the new year. A new year is certainly about new hopes and new excitement. But just as you give a tight warm farewell to your friends, similarly, you need to give a warm goodbye to 2022 so you can enter in 2023 with a light heart and a new mindset that is free from everything that could possibly hold it back.

I am here to do just that. The further article is a conversation between me and my 2022. Not you and me nor you and your 2022. It’s just my year that I am leaving behind. I am keeping it quite raw and unscripted so that you can get a gist of what I mean when I say A Heartfelt Goodbye Letter to 2022.

Tip: Consider 2022 as a tangible person who you can see. A person standing before you who wants to know how it made you feel, what it gave to you, what it took away from you, what you learned, and what you don’t want to take with you in the next year. Express your gratitude for what you got and your pain for what you lost. But in the end, be ready to leave it all behind so that the dark memories don’t haunt you and the good ones don’t ache your heart for more. It’s like you met a person whose name was 2022. And just as no one everyone is completely bad, so was 2022. There must be some good and some bad. You have today to live it all for once before you leave all the judgments & complaints for 2022 behind.

Now, I think I should shut up and stop acting like a 90-year-old who knows it all. Shouldn’t I?

Dear 2022,

I want to say that before I can blame you for every bad that happened to me, I want to apologize for not being my best absolute best. I know I had more dreams and plans that I could have worked on. But somehow I didn’t do any of it. Somehow I found my escape under my blanket as if you couldn’t find me there. But here we are standing right in front of each other. So, I guess, I have to admit that I wasn’t fair to you and to my dreams which brings me to my first lesson or should I say mistake that I don’t want to repeat in the next year.

1. Planning More, Doing Less; Speaking More; Doing Less:

I sometimes want to sit with God and ask ‘why the hell did you make me so imaginative?’

Because as soon as I get a new idea, I feel so excited that my heart starts beating faster like it’s dancing on the stage. And before I know it, I create an entire movie in my head on how I am going to execute this new idea. I go so far that I can even see the glorious results but when I travel back to reality, I feel tired so I go to rest for a while. And by the time, the time to take action comes, I mourn at the loss of the excitement I had before.

So, what I learned here is that maybe we should all dream less and do more. We should divert the excitement on the actions in real life rather than daydreaming. And most of all, my old habit of oversharing what I am going to do next is one of the few terrible habits that I am leaving behind. Because when people know what I am up to, they expect the results, and their expectations make me scared, ‘what if I fail?’ But I have realized that if people don’t know what you are doing, you wouldn’t have to care about their opinions, and most of all, they cannot ruin your excitement with their tiny mindset.

“It hurts to accept that you could have more but we don’t because you were lazy or sacred”

Now, continuing where I left, 2022, I am also very grateful for one thing. One thing that makes me feel like I am the RICHEST person in this world. I know, you must have guessed it by now. It’s MEDIUM and the people who read my articles and leave such moving words in the comment section. I started on Medium to prove myself that I am being productive but as I kept going on, I found myself turning the path from a girl who didn’t know what she wanted to a writer who has received immense love from her audience. And mind you, I am grateful to myself that I kept writing.

2. Consistency:

I dreamt a lot in 2022 but I didn’t dream even in the wildest of my dreams that anyone would even give a damn about my articles. But here I am.

The only difference between my other goals and my medium is this: I dream more about some ideas than taking action on them for a prolonged time. Whereas I didn’t expect a single thing from Medium. My only target was to publish one article every day. That’s it.

Now, I can clearly see a simple difference or rather pattern here.

When we dream a lot and expect a lot, we don’t let things happen as per the plans of the Universe. We take it to heart when things don’t fall as per our plans or when we don’t achieve the desired results quickly. Hence, we feel disheartened and give up.

But when there are no expectations of any sort, and the target is one step at a time, we find whatever comes on our way a surprise gift.

Besides, when I started writing on Medium, I was writing about books. But now, my niche has changed into a slow and intentional lifestyle that helps you live a life that is fulfilling for both, your heart and mind. So, I guess, the challenge is just to start and then you will automatically figure out things.

I wish I could have done the same thing with my website. I built my website about 5 months ago but within a few weeks, I stopped posting blogs there because I didn’t have any exciting template for the book reviews. Now, when I look back to reflect on those 5 long months that I lost, I feel if only I had kept going, I would have made my way till now.

But anyway, I now know that ‘I must start before I think I am ready and I shouldn’t wait until I figure out everything’

2022, as much as I am grateful for the support from my Medium audience and having so many people love my work, I am also angry that I don’t have any friends at this moment who I can give a tight hug. I mean I do have friends but they all live far away from me. And being alone sucks at times. But what I learned is:

3. You Are All You Have:

The biggest tragedy of growing up is that you have to let go of some people. You have to let go of your friends and family even when every bit of your heart is against it because you or your friends have to shift to another city for work or study. And you know that no matter how much you love them, it will never be the same again.

You will meet your old friends but old times wouldn’t come back. Your life and goals have changed and so you don’t have any common topic that can just laugh on without worrying about how much money is in your bank account or that you have to go to the office tomorrow.

Realizing this simple fact that you will meet a lot of new people but you wouldn’t be able to find such warmth in anyone is what causes loneliness in me. I want to live in denial that someday all my friends and I will be under the same roof, making fun of each other and living like our parents are going to pay the bills. But I know that’s not going to happen. That hurts. Even when I am writing this, I feel shattered.

Though, this reminds me of one major lesson that I mastered in 2022 which is how to enjoy your own company and how to create an environment where you don’t feel lonely even when you are alone. I had fun with my friends when I met them and now when I am sitting alone on the evening of the 31st with no one to celebrate the new year, I am still at peace with my heart. I don’t feel lonely.

And all of it, because I guess I realized this early in life that I am all I have. My heart is what is going to be with me until my last breath so I have to take good care of it. I made it a point to talk to myself when I feel overwhelmed and go for a walk when I feel anxious, dance on a ‘this town’ when I want to romanticize life, and read when I feel bored.

I know how to entertain and take care of myself. I know how to live alone happily so that I don’t feel lonely when everyone leaves.

And dear 2022,

Although there are a lot more things that I want to discuss with you but I cannot say everything here because we know that people are reading us or me and thinking that I have gone nuts. So, let me say Goodbye to them and I will get back to you in my diary.

Conclusion:

I know that 2022 wasn’t the same for everyone. Some people suffered more than others. And there is no need to hide your pain under the blanket of gratitude. You don’t have to express gratitude just because it’s a good habit. You don’t have to pretend that everything that happened to you in 2022 ends with a lesson. Some things just happen and we should leave them as it is without trying to give them a meaning of any sort. So, let me say it again, before you start 2023 and party all night, give a tight hug and a farewell to 2022 so that what happened in the past doesn’t ruin your future. Accept the worst. Realize your mistakes and promise that you wouldn’t repeat them. You cannot just start new without knowing what you did wrong. And if there were any good habits, for me writing on Medium, keep doing it and be proud of yourself.

I am not saying that you shouldn’t make mistakes in 2023. All I am saying is to reflect on 2022 so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Make new mistakes, and learn from them. Fall again and again but for the same reason.

Make your life interesting with new mistakes, new lessons, new hobbies, habits, and mindset.

Also, thank you for giving me all your love in 2022 and I will see you next year. Till then, please know that I am grateful for your support.