Building Habits Suck; Do This Instead for More Successful & Happy Days

Do you remember the time when we were kids?

Yes, the time when we were always told ‘what we should and shouldn’t do.’

At that time, I used to wish to be an adult to do whatever I liked without my parents yelling at me.

Now that I have become an adult, I often find myself ‘clueless’ as to what to do next or if what I am doing is right or wrong. All because, as kids, we had so much guidance and support, and suddenly we had to manage it all by ourselves.

Well, that’s exciting as well as scary.

Exciting because you never know how beautifully life unfolds before your eyes.

It’s scary because you never know if things turn out exactly the opposite of what you desire.

However, in between the excitement and fear, there lies the freedom to live life as per your rules.

That is the one joy of being an adult. Your life doesn’t have to be a rule book of your parents or teachers or anyone else. If you don’t like to party, you don’t have to. You can simply sit in your room and watch a good movie or read a book in a park with iced coffee beside you.

What we did after growing up is — after leaving the hands of our parents, we started running behind following the rules, techniques, and habits of ‘5 things successful people do every day.’

What a shame it is on our adulthood!

I believe ever since books like ‘Atomic Habits’ and ‘7 Habits of Highly Successful People’ have entered our world, we have made this belief that ‘if we can build great habits that every successful person has then we can all become successful.’

That’s the reason, all over the internet, you will find articles and YouTube videos on ‘How to build habits that lasts’ or perhaps ‘if you build these 5 habits, you will become unrecognizable.’

Oh, what a trap!

1. Why Habits Are Useless?

You and I are different, right?

So what worked for me will not work for you. I have a completely different way of living life while you might be living in a way that is unknown to me. When I get a problem in life, I handle it differently than you or anyone else. And the same goes for you.

So tell me how can one habit work for all?

Every day brings new challenges as well as excitement, and according to the day, your mood will be different. Today you might be the happiest person on the planet while a week later, you might feel disheartened.

Doesn’t that mean — every day demands something new?

It is because of this that normal people like you and I face so many problems in building any new habit. Things change and we change and what we thought would work for us might just become a burden to drag.

Hence, cursing yourself for not being able to build a habit or watching the 100th video of your life on ‘how to build great habits’ can really be a shame in your adulthood.

Look at you. You are young and you have a mind. You can use this mind to understand yourself, and your needs and find a way to do what is necessary.

Instead of focusing on building habits that were suggested by someone who doesn’t have any idea who are you or how to deal with things in life, FOCUS ON becoming an adult and doing what the day demands in a way that life feels like a joy, not a punishment.

Now, you might ask ‘HOW?’

Let’s see:

2. Build Inner System:

I forgave myself long ago for not being able to stay consistent with the habit of ‘hitting the gym.’

I realized that I don’t feel the same way every day. However, fitness is important, isn’t it?

So, instead of forcing myself to go to the gym, I made myself a promise to ‘MOVE MY BODY EVERY DAY.’

On some days, I exercise for 45 minutes or so while on other days, I dance like crazy, and sometimes, I go cycling until my legs tremble. And then there are days when I dance and skip rope.

Did you see the difference?

I am doing what is important — moving my body every day. However, I am doing it in a way that is joyful to me. I don’t kill myself for not going to the gym, I rather listen to my mood and take action accordingly so that ‘I am consistent and working on my goals doesn’t feel like a punishment.’

And that my friend is my request to you as well.

When you set a goal, you feel such intense love and excitement that you cannot breathe. But then you overburden yourself with doing things in a particular way that the same goal becomes vague and working on it feels like a punishment.

Hence, instead of forcing you to build habits, focus on building an inner system where you do things as per your liking and mood. Do things in a way that makes you happy and joyful. Find fun in the process.

Ask yourself: What is my goal?

3. Take One Action:

One thing that has helped me stay consistent is focusing on ‘Taking One Action Every day.’

When I canceled my gym membership, initially I completely missed out on my workouts. I used to promise myself every day that ‘today I will work out at home for 20 minutes’ but those promises evaporated into thin air.

Then I realized, if I kept going like this, I might end up regretting my decision.

So, I built a simple system for myself.

I wrote my goal in my notes app and added all the dates of the particular month. Then before each date, I wrote a question: ‘What will I do today to get closer to my goal?’

I focused on ‘Taking one action’ every day as per my mood and recorded it in my notes. I use Napkin, you can use any you like.

Now, if you are signing up for this new system, you must be accountable and hold yourself responsible. As fun as this new system is, it requires accountability from your side. If you don’t write your goal and record your progress, you might actually miss one day then two, and then you know how things go.

So, go ahead and build your system.

Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve?

Then: What will I do today to get closer to my goals?

Listen to yourself. Do what you like. Make it fun and don’t forget to record your day-to-day progress so you are consistent.

As I have already told you, I use Napkin for my system, you can use any. I use this app because it’s a note app along with some great in-app reading materials so I find it quite ‘all-in-one.’

You can use Napkin, any other app, or even a simple journal. The point is to Record your progress.

Conclusion:

Being an adult is fun, you get to live your life as per your rules. Why are you making it a collection of ‘5 Habits of successful people?’ Make it fun and beautiful with what you want to do and convert your goals into your lifestyle.

I hope this article helps you do that.

Until then, if you like my article, you will love my book — The Art of Being Alone.