How I Am Finding My Way Back to a Soft Life After a Strong Burn Out

Renuka Gavrani
8 min readJan 30, 2024

I have been feeling……….nothing from the past couple of days.

I have been feeling overwhelmed by the constant use of social media, disconnection from my hobbies, and ignorance towards the desire of my heart.

You can say that I ignored my inner voice for so long that I now cannot feel the same connection with my own self, thus leading to a disconnection with everything that matters to me.

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It all started a couple of weeks ago, or maybe months when I faced a really challenging situation, first in my career then with family, and to cope with it, I sought refuge in social media — silencing my mental chatter through the noise of the external world.

Even though everything got better eventually and I learned a lot about myself, and my thought process during that time, the sudden challenge led me to live a life that is not really mine.

My old habits took the backseat while I somehow adopted some new bad habits that don’t align with my values.

You might be wondering why am I telling you this or if this is even a problem.

Well, the problem is, you don’t get burned out only when you overdo your to-do list, use excessive social media, or work tirelessly without taking a break. These are the kinds of burnout that are most discussed on social media.

There is another type of burnout that affects us all at one time or another. I am talking about the burnout from constantly living a life that you don’t want to live. The burnout you face when you ignore your inner voice for so long that eventually, you cannot find yourself inside you and all that’s left is, ‘A disconnection with your life, feeling overwhelmed, and finding those things boring that were once exciting to you.’

If you can relate with me, you are free to read ahead else you are free to leave this article.

Because I feel this is the kind of burnout that’s often ignored by people who face it and don’t even know what they are dealing with. They just start blaming themselves ‘What is wrong with me? Why cannot I do my work like before? Why do I feel this nothingness inside me like nothing is important enough to focus on? Why don’t I feel joyful like before?’

I have been facing this burnout and I am just so DONE with it that I literary want to scream from the top of my lungs. It’s like I have been living inside someone else’s body which I have no control over, thus I have to do things that I never wanted.

To heal from this burnout and live MY life in my way again, I have made a few lifestyle changes in my day-to-day life. Let’s have a look at them:

1. Identify The Triggers & Triggered Actions:

What are you doing every single day that you know is bad for you yet you cannot stop it?

I will go first.

I was mindlessly scrolling social media. Oh, I am so angry at myself at this moment and also I feel like crying. Because this isn’t me. I am telling you someone else has taken over my body and that someone is my— TRIGGER.

What else do you think I was going to say? Ghost?

Okay, so as I shared, there is something that you are doing every single day that you know is bad for you, you want to stop doing it with all your heart yet you are not able to STOP yourself.

Why is that?

It’s your body. It’s in your control. It’s your mind and it knows what’s good for you. Then why cannot you stop?

Because there is something else deep inside your mind that’s controlling your actions. It’s your trigger. Until you identify this trigger, no matter how many videos/articles/books you consume, nothing is going to help you in the long run.

For example: When I first took the wrong route in *this* life, I was trying to avoid stress and anxiety. I was in a bad position and there wasn’t anything I could do. So instead of doing my work, I choose to become ignorant through constant use of social media and binge-watching Netflix.

After that, when everything was good and happy, I thought of writing another book. I was feeling this great inspiration and excitement for the book YET I left it in between. Instead, I chose to scroll social media and read books when I should have been writing.


Because I was scared. Scared that this book may not do as well as my previous book did. I was scared that I might not be able to write such a great book again and then I would be a failure.

That was my TRIGGER to go back to a life that was ignorant and full of distractions. I avoided my work so I could avoid possible failure. Hence, even when I knew that I was doing wrong (by using social media or indulging in distractions), I couldn’t stop myself.

Because whenever I tried to stop, my mind would start to remind me that I needed to write the book. I have an idea that is dying so get on it. But the fear was too loud (yet hidden) to let me start writing.

Thus, even after hating the daily choices I was making, I kept going.

When I figured out my trigger, it helped me realize that nothing was wrong with me.

Now, I leave it to you to find your TRIGGER because if you don’t then your trigger will push you over the edge — so far that coming back may become impossible.

Instead of letting your trigger drown you in this unwanted life that you are living every day, choose to open your eyes, dig deeper, and find out what’s happening inside you. What’s triggering you to take actions that you hate?

Because if you don’t control it today, it will end up becoming second nature.

2. What’s Next? A Fight Maybe:

Alcohol bottles and cigarette packets come with a warning — it’s dangerous for your health yet people continue to consume it.

Hey, I am not judging!

I am just saying that knowing about your problem and doing something about it are two different things. If you don’t do what you know you should do, that will only create a negative self-image. You tell yourself in bold that:

You could have saved yourself and improved the quality of your life yet you choose not to.

After knowing your trigger, your responsibility is to DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF YOUR TRIGGERED REASON.

For example: When I realized that my trigger was my fear of failure or fear of not being able to write as well as I wrote earlier, I decided to WRITE. I pushed myself to do the opposite of my trigger. And how do I explain to you that life has been going pretty well since then?

However, it wasn’t so easy to just pick up my laptop and start writing. It was tough. I didn’t expect that something that I used to be excited about could become a scary step for me. My mind was throwing all kinds of distractions and excuses on my way so I could delay the action of ‘writing.

But time and again, I noticed what was really happening, and I pushed myself harder to get through these excuses, fears, and triggers. And seems like I am winning.

So now ask yourself, what is it that you are avoiding because your trigger is standing in the midway? Is there something that you know you should be doing but you aren’t? Is there something you want to do but your default habits/behavior is stopping you?

Go deep. Analyze your day-to-day life and figure out a way to swap your ‘dream action’ in your life. Action that you want to take. Actions that you know will lead you to a life you desire.

3. Take Life Gently As It Comes:

If there is one thing that I have learned over the past two years, it’s the power of taking breaks.

The problem with us, humans, is that we take breaks either when it’s a holiday season or a special occasion. If none of these then we wait to get sick, burned out, or overwhelmed. Otherwise, the thought of taking intentional breaks never crosses our minds. We think working hard is the only way to become successful.

But working too hard, I promise, is the way to failure. It only drains you mentally and physically. If you are in a creative field, there is no way you can become successful only by working hard.

Your brain as well as your body needs REST. And when I say, I don’t mean taking a spa treatment every Sunday. Resting isn’t limited to weekends. You need to give your body and mind proper REST every day.

For example: When I faced this big dilemma, I could feel that my mind was not working like before. I had to force myself to create creative ideas. Yet, I kept blaming myself. Instead of giving my brain the REST it needed, I started looking for distractions so I don’t find faults in myself.

And similarly, I wasn’t getting enough sleep. And on days when I would sleep 8–9 hours then that sleep was disturbed oftentimes. Hence, the mental fatigue kept building up until I achieved the ‘I could feel nothing’ stage.

After realizing that I wasn’t RESTING well, I created enough space in my schedule to take intentional rest — to give my mind a break from every kind of entertainment, work, distraction, knowledge, and all kinds of external input.

I started taking 10 minutes of walk up to my terrace, cooking for myself, sitting in absolute silence as long as I could, and things like that to let my mind digest what I had consumed, and to get away from any kind of stress or doubts that might be hidden inside. I also made it a point to get deep sleep — still in the process, but I do feel better when I get deep sleep for a full 8 hours.

I also put a limit on my social media timing. I picked up my old habit of not using my mobile after 9 PM and not scrolling constantly for more than 15 minutes.

All of these little changes are helping me to get back to my ‘soft, quiet’ life where I have the freedom to be still and peaceful. I feel like going back in time to reconnect with myself.

Now it’s your turn to give yourself gentle breaks every day so you can feel FREE in your day-to-day life. You have to allow yourself to take intentional breaks and not let anything drown in a lifestyle that you didn’t choose for yourself. You have to be gentle with yourself and your mind.

So ask yourself, are you ready to allow yourself mental breaks during your day? Or are you going to wait until you are mentally burned out?


I feel more at peace with myself as I am writing this article. I already feel more connected with my work and my internal voice. And if there is one thing that I have learned, it’s

“Nothing matters more than your connection with your internal voice.”

If your connection with your internal voice isn’t strong enough then you will be controlled by the voices of the external world. So, my dear reader, are you ready to build your connection to your inner voice? If yes, go get back to the life you truly wish to live — by taking the actions that will take you to that life.



Renuka Gavrani

I talk about slow & Intentional living - taking you closer to a happy life. I am a published author of the book 'The Art of Being Alone':