I Am Not Ready to Accept, Apologise or Adjust; Why You Should Not Either
Do you know what makes you and me miserable? Do you know why you are not happy with what you have, who you are? Do you know why you are stressed and depressed even when you consume positive content daily?
Well, the answers cannot be summed up in one sentence but let’s see how you lost your capabilities to think and make decisions:
- You are manipulated by society into believing that YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH for what you are.
- You are manipulated into believing that accepting yourself is a form of self-love and
- You are manipulated into believing that a happy life means adjusting to what you have
I am pretty sure after reading these 3 sentences, some people might want to throw eggs in my face but allow me to explain. Can you be open-minded for a while?
I am not here to tell you that you are not good enough nor am I asking you to hate yourself. And if you have read my articles before, you know that I always try to make my words feel like a soft kiss on the forehead.
Believe me, I am not here to make you feel bad but I consider it my responsibility to show you the truth (even if it’s bitter) and to tell you HOW you can get the best of everything. So, let’s start:
Everywhere you see on social media, be it on Instagram or YouTube, you will see how almost everyone is asking you to do things against your comfort zone, right? But at the same time, these are the same people who ask you to get comfortable with who you are and what you have.
These are the people who say “bab, get comfortable with your body, So, what if you are fat? So, what if you are skinny? All body types are beautiful.
I guess, our generation is probably the only generation that is making it famous to be unhealthy.
Now, I can see some people are actually grabbing their eggs to throw in the comment section but hear me out.
I am not saying that being fat or skinny is not beautiful nor am I asking you to hate your body just because it doesn’t fit the standards. But do you really think that you deserve this type of body?
I mean, I am 22. And when everyone said that you should accept your body as it is then I accepted and here is what happened:
I got comfortable. I canceled my gym membership. I stuffed myself with junk food. I didn’t move my body. Result?
At the age of 22, I face back pain, I get sick after every 15 days, I feel lazy throughout the day, I cannot sit straight for long enough, and I started wearing clothes that can hide my belly fat (high-waist jeans, girls?), and I feel pain in my chest after every few days.
Can you see a pattern here?
The problem is way more deep-rooted than you and I can ever imagine. Society has manipulated you into believing that you are good as you are so you always remain miserable and keep consuming typical self-improvement feel-good content.
People like you and me think that everyone is good but what we don’t realize is that goodness doesn’t make people millionaires. Manipulation does. So, the entire industry is designed to make you weak and a puppet of their hacks. No doubt why the creator economy and medical industry are growing with such speed.
With that being said, I know I am fat which I should not be. And my body didn’t store up fat overnight due to some disease (some people actually lose weight or gain extreme fat due to disease so this blog is not for such people). My body was giving me signals all along but I was drunk on typical self-acceptance content.
After not recognizing what I saw a few months back in the mirror, I asked myself, ‘WHEN DID I CHOOSE TO BE THIS?’ My answer made me realize that being fat wasn’t my choice yet I chose the path that led me here.
This is the time when you should take a pause and ask yourself, are you really ready to accept yourself the way you are? At least I am not, I just want the best of the best because I am not born on this earth to adjust or apologize for wanting to be the BEST. I am here to take space, to have the best of everything, to be my BEST SELF, to not adjust with what I am, and to not accept what I don’t like. And if you also then here is what you should do:
1. Create Your Own Customized Path:
Our world is getting smaller with the upgradation of technology. Hence, whenever we face a problem, we just go on YouTube and listen to a person who we don’t a shit about.
I am not saying that these YouTubers are wrong (because I am one as well) but what you need to understand is that you and I are different. What worked for me might be a danger for you. What helped me might create problems in your life. Hence, it is extremely important to create your own customized path that aligns with your goals.
For example; A few days back, I saw a video on the benefits of eating raw vegetables and I thought, I will eat raw veggies too. But on the very same day, I saw an Instagram reel on why you shouldn’t eat raw vegetables and how harmful they can be. So, what do you think who should I trust?
The problem is with the easy availability of every kind of information, we have become independent. We don’t use our brains anymore. Perhaps, that’s the reason why it is so easy for brands to sell you any stupid product.
I want you to understand that what you see on social media is manipulation not reality. Hence, instead of relying on anyone to tell you what you should be, create your own customized path for anything you want to achieve be it a healthy body or good grades in college, the choice should be YOURS.
2. Don’t Shut Down Your Brain:
I wouldn’t ask you to stop listening to people altogether because there are plenty of great creators. However, just one small tip for you, listen to people but don’t shut down your brain.
You have been blessed with the capability to think and analyze so that people don’t take advantage of you so use that power of thinking.
3. Work on One Area of Your Life for the Rest of 2022:
Body type was just an example to explain to you the ugly side of media.
Because the reality is YOU ARE MANIPULATED to adjust in every area of your life. People are making it famous to be dumb. But deep down, you know what you are and what you can be if you really start using your brain to achieve your goals.
But when you don’t do anything, your inner self starts losing its voice because you are always ignoring it. That’s the reason why you always need people to tell you what’s good for you. That’s the reason why you don’t have self-confidence because the self has died in the process of manipulation.
If you really want to improve your life, gain self-confidence and make an impact on people around you then pick just one area of your life where you think you deserve more (but suck at this moment) Work on it every single day for 6 months and see how you start seeing yourself differently - with more love, respect, and authority.
To me, it’s working on my body because I know this is not what I deserve. I deserve a healthy and fit body. So, for the rest of 2022, my goal is to improve my diet, avoid junk and move my body so that I don’t feel like 40 at 22.
And if you think you are overweight or skinny, then acknowledge it rather than ignoring your own body. I am not asking you to have a figure like kylie Jenner but I am definitely forcing you to have a fit body.
4. Don’t Adjust; Believe You Are Destined For the BEST:
Not knowing what you need to do to change your life is one thing but knowing everything that you can do yet not doing anything is pathetic. It creates a negative self-image in your mind about yourself. And then no matter how many videos you watch on self-love, you cannot change this image. Perhaps, this is the reason you still feel a void in yourself even when you have everything.
You, my love, are not here to adjust in any area of your life. You are here to have the BEST of everything and TO BE THE BEST.
When you were a little cute kid, you never thought twice before claiming anything as yours. You were so full of possibilities, dreaming big and believing that you can have everything. So, what happened now?
Why do you question your wants and needs? Why do you question your capabilities? Why are you ready to adjust? Why do you think you cannot have the world? Why don’t you look at yourself with the same excitement? Why don’t you dream big now?
Trust me on this, THE WORLD IS READY TO BE ACHIEVED. You just need to stop adjusting. You have to be that little kid from your heart who believes in himself, someone who just wants the BEST of everything, someone who doesn’t need motivation every morning to start working on his dreams. You, darling, should have a belief so strong that not even God can shake it let alone humans.
You need to believe that you are destined for the best, be it your body, your career, your life partner, or your own self-image.
5. Don’t Apologize for Who You Are:
I have spoken enough about why you shouldn’t adjust and accept what you don’t like in yourself, be in your body, or any other part of your life.
But bab wait!
Not accepting what you are/have now doesn’t mean apologizing for who you are. Don’t be sorry for yourself and don’t ever let anyone make fun of you.
When I was a little girl, I was a chubby one and I remember being mocked. I remember how pathetic it feels and how others' remarks about you become your own voice in no time.
But not anymore. I know I am getting fat but that doesn’t mean you are allowed to tell me how I should look or what I should do. This is my body and I am not going to allow anyone to throw their stupid comments at me.
Similarly, I request you not to allow anyone to tell you what you do in your life. It’s your life. Keep it secret. If you are working on your body, don’t shout about it until the results speak for themselves. If you are working to get a better job, don’t brag about it until your paycheck comes.
People wouldn’t be able to digest it. They will try to drag you down to their levels so that you also remain like them - miserable. They will try to lower your self-confidence by making fun of your decisions or by reminding you of all the past failures in your life. I am speaking from my personal experience.
Hence, first, don’t apologize for who you are, then don’t tell people who you want to be.
I know some people are going to hate me for writing this blog but trust me, I care about nothing more than showing the truth. My intentions as I said earlier are not to make you question yourself or hate yourself but rather to make you realize that you deserve the BEST & society wouldn’t let you have it. When you grow, it will be a problem for people because you are just going to increase the competition. Hence, they all try to make you feel comfortable with where you are so that you always remain a pretty barbie who can never be a threat.
So, let me repeat it again, You are destined for BEST. You shouldn’t be ready to adjust or apologize.
PS: If my words hurt your feelings or made you feel otherwise, I assure you that wasn’t my intention.