Is A Boring & Simple Life For Losers? Or Are You The Real Loser?
I have a question, may I ask?
If I can wake up at a time I want to without rushing to be anywhere and I can wear whatever I want without wanting to impress anyone and there is no drama in my life then does that make my life boring or simple?
Is this the kind of life one should aspire to have? Because, look nothing extraordinary is happening in my life and why would anyone want to live such a life?
Also, this isn’t the kind of life books and movies inspire us to live, right? There is always a touch of extraordinary in all these great movies and books. Perhaps, that’s why they are such blockbusters.
Someone is so poor that they might have to live on the street until they meet the love of their life who saves them or they start an online business and become a millionaire.
Someone has a childhood trauma with toxic parents until they go to New York and find a new wave of life.
Some feel caged in their hometown until they go to college and have a blast with their new friends.
Someone is a poor-little-cute-angel type girl who ends up marrying a prince.
Someone who never had friends is now finally finding a huge group of besties in an unknown city.
Someone wanted to be a writer but never could because of excuses and self-doubts until they find a great place and amazing people to inspire them to write and boom! They finally follow their muse.
I am sorry for such poor storytelling but take a second to observe the movies and books you have consumed till now and tell me how do these movies/books start and end.
They always start with some big problem and end with a solution to it. In between, there is so much drama and unrealistic things that can never happen in reality.
The Havoc They Create:
I am a huge fan of art whether it comes in the form of writing, reading, or watching movies.
Anything that reflects a piece of someone else’s imagination is ART to me and I love to enjoy it.
But do you think art is art anymore? Or is it just a big business that’s running our lives — slowly and silently?
Let me explain.
When you and I watch these kinds of movies or read books with an extraordinary plot twist, it hooks us because it has unexpected story turns that are beyond our real lives. Something that is beyond reality — hence it’s entertaining.
If movies/books were exactly like our real lives, would we enjoy them?
No! We wouldn’t watch it because we know how things are going to turn out.
But because it is beyond our expectations, it entertains us and because we watch/read such extraordinary things on a loop, we have adopted a belief in our minds that — something extraordinary should happen in our lives as well — only then life is worth living otherwise life is boring and simple — and no one wants a simple life.
This was one problem — we constantly expect our lives to change in dramatic ways so we can enjoy it.
The other problem is — pick any book/movie of recent times (I dare you) and tell me how do they treat people who live a simple life.
These people are often treated as sympathetic characters — someone who has low confidence with no to only one boring friend and lives a life with no fun. Such people are mocked in movies/books.
An adult who doesn’t drink or party. Oh, what a shame! Must be boring.
And because you don’t want sympathy from people or you don’t want people to think that you are boring with no friends (the weirdo) you go to extensive lengths to try to do the things that cool students/people do like attending parties even when you wanted to have a pizza night with your close ones or wearing clothes and doing great hair/makeup so everyone wants to be with you or things like that.
These two problems are interconnected to each other.
You believe a simple life is for losers. You don’t want to look loser. You want a happening life with extraordinary turns. You go beyond your limit to live those extraordinary moments.
But in the end, no matter how hard you try or how far you go, life doesn’t feel extraordinary to you, does it? In fact, in your quiet moments, you feel like your mind is eating you. You can feel the dissatisfaction and disconnection but you cannot pinpoint the reason. So you think, maybe I need a break and hang out with my friends.
The cycle continues until you live a life that was never yours. But a life that you thought you wanted to live because dude! It’s extraordinary.
If you think I am being judgmental or harsh, tell me ‘Why aren’t people happy even after having everything they worked for? Why do people have to read books on happiness even when they are living the life that they thought could make them happy?
There is a gap. A silent hole.
What’s your gap? And how are you trying to fill it unconsciously?
Ask yourself these questions and then get back to me.
If you can feel total peace with the life you are living and you think you are doing everything intentionally in your day-to-day life, I will say you are one of the most successful humans on the planet.
But if you feel even an inch of doubt that means there is a gap. And you are filling that gap unconsciously because you think that will make your life extraordinary or better.
Maybe that’s why you shop a lot even if you don’t really need anything new. Or you go to parties even if you feel tired and displeased afterwards like the purpose of going to that party wasn’t fulfilled.
I don’t know you so I cannot find an answer for you. But you CAN know YOURSELF to know what’s stopping you from living a seemingly simple boring life.
Why I Aspire A Simple & Boring Life:
I love living a simple life that people may judge as boring and mundane.
But do you know what my life does for me?
It excited me. It makes my body tickle with joy when I know I can wake up a little early to enjoy a good cup of coffee whilst reading a good book. I feel good as I am sitting on my terrace soaking in the winter sun and writing this article. I feel good when I can have another cup of tea as I spend an hour from 4:00–5:00 P.m. watching that tree right outside my house and how it glows up as the sun is going down. I feel free when I go to bed early with my Kindle under the blanket and read a good book until I fall asleep.
Sure, there is no drama or extraordinary turns in my life. I don’t live close to my friends. In fact, my friends live miles and countries away from me. I don’t have a crush or a boyfriend. I don’t party nor do I drink.
But I am addicted to life. I like to do what I desire like I am currently learning to knit even when my sister said ‘No one learns this old-granny thing now.’ But hey, I have built a life to please my heart not to see who is doing what and then doing the same things.
This is what my seemingly simple and boring life looks and feels like. To people, I may be a loser. But this same loser is also a best-selling author and has a life that feels good.
Should Be A Loser Too?
I think a real loser is the one who never listens to the desires of their heart.
I am not going to sit here and tell you how you should live your life. If you could find yourself in this article and you feel there may be a gap in the way you are living, work on it.
You don’t have to live a life like mine. Maybe you enjoy going to parties and casual hangouts. Maybe you are an outdoor person. Maybe you cannot sit in one place for long. Maybe late nights are your thing. Whatever it is that you want — live like that.
I am neither going to push you to live a simple nor am I going to judge you for drinking here and there. I am going to judge you if you don’t live the way you desire.
So, take this article as a reminder to reflect on the gaps in your life (if any) and work on them. Don’t fill them unconsciously but build a life that feels exciting one day at a time.
