No, You Don’t Have To Live This Life; You Can Choose To Design Your Dream Life
Have you ever seen insanely successful people and tried to analyze them beyond the worldly tags?
Let me tell you something. Success is not what you think it is. And successful people don’t decorate themselves from head to toe with Chanel or Parada.
Since childhood, we have been told that success takes you to the 1% club. Social media influencers or more specifically ‘coaches’ have created an image in our minds that success means:
- Coming from a normal background with personal and professional struggles
- Overcoming those struggles by doing *more* than other people so you can have *more* than other people
- Buying unnecessary expensive brands to show your wealth
And if you cannot buy Chanel in this life, what a waste of life that was! Because look, people who were less intelligent with less favorable backgrounds than you made it to the top 1% and you….oh! Such a shame.
So you start to guilt trip yourself into believing that ‘more’ could have been done. Thus you go out there and try to do everything even if that means not taking rest and eventually forgetting ‘What did you start working towards?’
You feel that you are working towards becoming successful but in reality, you are laying the groundwork for your dead mental health.
What Is Success Then?
I used to be one of those people who was always comparing herself to others. I remember almost 6–7 years back when I was to join college, my cousin was entering college in the same year. We were to go to college in the same city but with different degrees and colleges.
That day, one of my aunts (my mom’s sisters) said, ‘Both of them are going to college at the same time, let’s see who comes out better.’
I kid you not, that one sentence from my aunt didn’t let me enjoy my college life. I was always trying to do more and find more activities to participate in. I was always searching for internships to apply for and more courses to join.
Why?
Looking back, I now realize that whilst I was running back and forth to become more ‘successful’ than my cousin, I didn’t even know what was my passion. I had no idea what I wanted to be or if I was even capable of becoming anything good.
At one point, I remember wishing for strict parents so they could tell me what to do and I could do the work.
If that was my mental situation then what was I working towards?
The answer is I was working with FEAR. The fear of ‘not becoming successful’ was too big to sit in silence with myself even for a second.
My struggle continued until 2021 I believe. That’s when I was introduced to the concept of intentional living. It made me realize two things:
- You can achieve everything you want without rushing or fearing.
- You can choose to CHOOSE what kind of life you want to live.
I cannot tell you in words how my life has changed since then. I have more than I could ask for today and I work less than 3 hours in a day. Somedays I don’t work at all.
How did it happen?
Well, Define IT For Yourself:
I am not promoting the ‘not working hard’ philosophy here for I am aware most people don’t have the luxury to slow down.
However, if you are reading this article, I know one thing — you are not happy with the life you are living.
Think about it. You only live once. The world is a beautiful place. Do you really want to live in this beautiful world with blame and complaints?
I am asking you to forget everything that you have learned about success to date. Forget everything people tell you about you. Let go of all the insecurities and fears that might be holding you back.
Now just take a moment to breathe and with a free mind, ask yourself ‘What kind of life do I want?’
Don’t think about a life that everyone else seems to enjoy or a life that you were trained to work for.
Imagine yourself living a life where you would feel FREE and SATISFIED.
For example; Back in 2021 when I left my job, I asked myself this same question. I was so frustrated and irritated with my job & boss that I didn’t want to wake up in the morning. I wanted nights to be long and never-ending just so I didn’t have to face my boss.
I asked myself ‘What do I want?’ and the answer was, ‘I love writing and I want to do it. But I hate my job. I want to be at home, do my thing, and in between work to make enough money to buy what I desire.’
With that in mind, I left my job and for a few months, I neither had work nor confidence to work towards finding work. When I gave up my job, I thought I wanted to be a copywriter. Eventually, I started writing on Medium, and within 6 months, I fell in love with writing articles and sharing my experiences here.
That’s when I knew I didn’t want to be a copywriter. I want to be a real writer. I want to write to make everyone feel loved and understood. Since then, I wrote two books and my love affair with writing seems to be growing each day.
This is just the kind of life I wanted. I am writing what I love, sharing it with people I love and it helps me make good money.
I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t asked myself this one question. If I had believed in the world — go big or go home, I would have been cursing my job, my boss, and my life to date.
But here I am today. Happier and satisfied with my life.
So my advice to you is — before working towards something, ask yourself ‘What do I want?’ What am I working for?
Ask yourself now, What are you working for? Are you working towards your dream life or are you working hard towards a life that you already hate?
Shift Your Perspective Towards Life:
Is there no happiness for people who don’t have a passion? Or people who don’t know what they want to be?
The world has made us believe that if you don’t have a passion, you are useless. If you are not passionate about your work then your life is wasted.
That’s why people who don’t have a passion often take advice from anyone. They think everyone knows better than them. Hence, they believe in people easily.
But hear me out.
Your life doesn’t revolve around work. Work is a human-generated concept to make money so we can buy food, shelter, and other resources. Some people find work that they love to do and some people can’t.
However, that doesn’t mean those who couldn’t find their passion are wasting their lives. It simply means:
Instead of finding a work you love, you should shift your focus to finding a way to love what you do.
Listen to me.
Life is not short. It isn’t. It’s big. It has so many days, people, and memories. The days that are yet to come are like blank pages, you have the power to create any kind of story with these pages (days/years). Do you really want to create a story where the main character (YOU) keeps whining, blaming, or complaining about something or the other? Or do you want to take a pause to wonder ‘What can I do today to live beautifully?’
If you are doing a job that you don’t like, instead of doing it every single day with a sad face, jealousy in your heart, and complaints in mind, can you not change the direction of your story?
For example: You can wake up an hour earlier than your office hours to do something you truly love just to start your day on a positive note. You could take a long shower, read a good book, go running, or simply sit in your living room with a cup of coffee and maybe work on a new hobby.
You can go to the office on time to avoid any unnecessary hassle and start your work knowing that this is my life so why not I find a way to enjoy it? You can come back home early and spend the rest of the day as you like either by spending time with your loved ones, cooking for yourself while listening to your favorite song, or taking rest properly, or you can even learn a new skill/update your knowledge about your current field to be better at your job.
I am not in your shoes so I cannot tell how easy or tough it is going to be. But I can say one thing with guarantee, it will be really tough to continue hating your life until your death is near just to realize you could have lived another way.
Life is big. Really big, hopefully. Let’s find a way to enjoy it by adding more habits, hobbies, and people that we love.
If you keep focusing on why your life sucks, you will have more reason to hate your life. But if you focus on finding a way to enjoy what you are doing at the moment, you will always have a reason to be happy.
Conclusion:
Sometimes, I feel like I am sounding like an old granny. But yeah, old people always have better advice to give. So take this article as a sign to believe that ‘No, You Don’t Have To Live This Life; You Can Choose To Design Your Dream Life’
