What It Takes To Live Your ‘Soul-Satisfying’ Life
I love to talk about life. I guess, I have now formed a belief that life is not tough. It’s fun and exciting.
Now, I know some people would immediately bounce back from their seats to yell at me ‘Maybe not for you, but some of us have real problems to deal with.’
Trust me, if we were to compare the worthiness of life based on problems, I would win that game. If I sit down to count my problems, probably, you will start feeling sorry for me. So, let’s not go down that line.
But then the question is ‘If I have problems in my life, like everyone else, how come I live such a soft, exciting, and fun life?’
In one sentence, I choose my problems instead of dealing with the problems that were born from my unconscious choices.
What do I mean?
The Art of Choosing Your Battles:
When we watch those YouTube videos or read typical self-help books, we learn just one common thing:
‘Life is messy. Do the hard work. Two years later, life will be magical and you will have everything you prayed for. And THE END.’
Sorry to break this to you, life doesn’t work like this. Even if you get ‘by definition’ everything you dreamt of, life wouldn’t be a bed of roses still.
Problems will be a part of each stage of your life. They made you believe that if you do this, and follow their philosophy, you will be able to achieve a life that has no problems. So, innocently, we wish for that life. We strive to achieve that life when there won’t be any problems or anxiety. We will be happy in our New York apartment whilst planning the third trip of the year to a beautiful country.
From my own experience, I can say one thing, even if you get all the money you once wished for and your work is relaxing, your day-to-day life will still be the same.
For example: In 2021 when I was making the bare minimum, I used to think if I started making X amount of money, my life would be so magical. I will be happier than anyone else. But guess what? Now, that I have more than I prayed for and my work is so relaxing, nothing major has changed. I still drink the same coffee, work on the same laptop, and wear the same clothes and I cannot just escape the world to travel through Europe.
So, why am I writing this article then?
To tell you that ‘life doesn’t magically change even if all your ‘when I will have this’s come true.’ Life remains the same.’
So then the question is ‘Why do I feel life can be fun and exciting if problems are always going to be a part of our lives?’
For example; One of my close friends who is also a writer on Medium recently messaged me on WhatsApp and said, ‘Renuka, your book is so popular, I didn’t know that. Why don’t you write articles on how to market your book, the process of writing an international bestseller, and the like? Because these types of articles gain so many views.’
He said it with my best interest in his mind. There was a time when all the writers were struggling with the new algorithm of Medium and we were fed up with not getting any attention. He and I talked a few months back on the same topic. This is why he messaged me with his ideas.
And hey, I am still struggling with the same problem on Medium. Somehow my articles are not reaching to my audience and it just feels so daunting.
Yet…
Do you know what I said to him?
I said, ‘It’s 100% true if I write articles on such topics, I will get a lot of views = money. But I don’t write to gain views. I write to explore my own voice. When I sit down to write, even though I don’t know what I am thinking, after I am done writing, I feel surprised that ‘Wow, this is what I was thinking.’ I love writing because it surprises me. It makes me happy. And I feel pride in knowing that I didn’t trade my values for money.’
Did you notice something here?
If I don’t write articles on what will gain more views, I am struggling with not being able to get my work out there. I feel bad that my hard work is going in vain most of the time. I feel like giving up on Medium because what’s the use if it’s not reaching to my audience?
But then if I do write articles on what will get me views and a lot of money then I am becoming someone I am not. I am writing something that I don’t feel connected with and in the process, losing my interest in my passion. And more importantly, I am losing all the money that I can easily make. Now, no one loves anything more than money.
If you observe, both situations bring their respective problem to the table. Some people might suggest you make a pros and cons list to choose a better option.
However, I believe, problems aren’t really problems when you choose them instead of dealing with a problem that was a result of greed/unconscious decision.
In my case, I choose my problem. I am fine if not more people are reading my article. At least, when I write about what I believe, I become a better writer which further helps me in writing the kind of book that connects with a larger set of audience.
The ‘Process’ of Dealing With The Problem:
How do you deal with a problem?
The last couple of months have been most challenging for me. My grandmother is swinging between death and life. And there is a lot that’s going on too.
In such a situation, I started avoiding my work. I thought I didn’t have the energy to do it. However, I knew that deep down the problem was, ‘No one is anyway reading my work so why bother?’
I don’t have a friend or anyone else to discuss this problem so I kept battling with my mind. I tried to comfort myself. I made myself see the ‘point’ of it all. I didn’t write for 15 days and felt completely sh*t. I wrote one day and felt extremely better.
Today when I am writing this article, my family situation hasn’t changed. I still face the problem. But, somehow I managed to bring myself back to do my work with honesty.
Because only when I write what I feel inspired to, do I feel satisfaction that touches every inch of my soul. And to me, that’s more expensive than any Chanel bag.
I cannot eat all the money that’s in my bank account nor will I be here on earth to see how people are viewing my work after my death. Hence, the only thing that matters is — how I live my day-to-day life and what problems I consciously choose to subscribe to.
When you choose to take the road that satisfies you, the problems that come along the way don’t impact you in a bad way. They make you stronger, and more self-aware. You begin to respect yourself. And along the way, doing what you love makes you happy as well. Life feels fun and exciting because it is a result of ‘what you choose for yourself.’
For example: As I am writing this article, hundreds of things want my attention. There are mental battles that only I know I am fighting. But guess what? I am writing what I feel connected with and there is a tree right outside my window whose leaves and branches are dancing to the music of air. It’s a beautiful day outside and I might go out to have a cup of coffee in my favorite place. See, life is fun and exciting, isn’t it?
I have problems. I know. But I choose them. I will work on them and find a solution too. Until then, the struggle doesn’t impact me because I know this is what I choose and this is helping me live a life that satisfies me.
If I had chosen the other path, I would still have problems but I wouldn’t have the satisfaction to ease my heart and I would have become the person that I am not. And this beautiful weather wouldn’t have my attention.
So I rest my case here. Life is fun and exciting when you choose your own problems instead of fighting against the problems that were the result of your unconscious choices.
Conclusion:
I was listening to my favorite music on YouTube whilst scrolling Pinterest when suddenly, I felt the urge to write. I hope you can create a life where you can say YES to your inspiration and choose satisfaction over what seems easier and reassuring.
I hope you learn to choose your problems.
