Why I Am Not Grateful To God For Making Me Rich
Didn’t you also learn that if you can make a lot of money then life will be set, and you will have your dream life?
Yeah, we all went to the same school.
When you grow up in a middle-class family, you believe that if you had more money, most of your problems would be solved. In fact, one of your biggest goals, as an adult, is to make a lot of money so you can create your *dream* life and live luxuriously.
Did I have a similar belief? Of course, yes.
Though, now that I have a lot of money, I am not grateful to God or the Universe for giving me that money.
Don’t get me wrong.
It’s not that I don’t love money because duh! I do. As it turns out, as important as money is, I think I have even more beautiful and marvelous things to be grateful for.
You must be wondering, what the hell am I trying to say, right? Let me get this straight.
The Luxury of A Peaceful Mind:
The most expensive thing you possess is your mind.
I have been through a lot in my life. A lot. From school to college. From being a little girl who didn’t know better to a young girl trying to make it big in the world. From being extremely optimistic to surviving depression and anxiety with a happy face while no one ever realized the pain in my heart. From never trusting myself to just going with the flow knowing that I will get where I am supposed to be.
Looking back to all these experiences, and personal beliefs I have had, I have been wondering ‘What did I really earn in these past years? Why did I go through all that?’
Truth to be told, the answer is not money. While money has made things a little luxurious for me, I don’t think I ever sit down to think about the money I have or eat that money as lunch.
When I look around at people of all age groups, I think my biggest achievement is my still mind.
Oh, God! How do I explain to you that I was one of those girls growing up who trusted everyone around her for her life, and career but never herself? I was always rushing and running, not just physically but mentally — racing against time. Always overthink or simply lose myself in the competitive scenes of my mind.
But now. Oh dear!
Now, I feel like some fairy entered in my mind and replaced my anxious brain with a calm one. I actually don’t know when I became so peaceful and patient. When did I learn to simply focus on my desires, however small or weird, they might be and just give them a go without first creating thousands of ways I could fail in my mind.
To be able to withdraw myself from the external world, not needing to be with people just to fit in or to make someone else feel more comfortable, to not feel the need to wear sexist clothes or pretend to be the bad b*tch just to show how strong I am, I guess this is one of the most expensive things I own.
In fact, when I was writing this subheading, at first I wrote — The Luxury of a Strong Mind but then I changed it to Peaceful Mind.
Do you know why?
Because I don’t think I am one of those ‘I am so strong, I couldn’t care less or I don’t give a f*ck type people.’
I am not strong. I am very sensitive. Highly sensitive. You cut my wrist and I might not cry but if you yell at me, you might witness the origin of the ocean. There was a time, I wished to be stronger. To have those faces you see in movies or shows where the person looks stoic and angry like they own every place they walk into.
But with time, I have realized, I don’t own the world nor do I want to. I don’t have to walk like I am the queen of the world or that I am better than others. I have come to grow comfortable in my softness. To walk gently. To not have a face that takes energy to put on. But to have a smile and pass it on to a stranger even if I don’t get it back. To be humble with people I interact with and not try to overshadow anyone with the money that I think should make me superior.
If the 10-year-old me could read this article, she would be either proud that I finally accepted myself as who I am or she would be furious to see why am I not trying to be strong like others.
In any case, being at peace with myself is my biggest achievement. And I don’t think this would have been possible if I hadn’t gone through everything that I did. After tiring myself completely, physically and mentally. After living my life in fear and uncertainty. After losing myself in the race to try to find success, I realized that I didn’t want the rest of my life to be such a race and competition.
I made an agreement with myself. It was tough but I said to myself, ‘If peace means less money, less exposure, and maybe never being able to make it big in the world then so be it. At least, I will be able to enjoy a cup of coffee with myself. At least my brain won’t feel so stupid and tired all the time.’
And well, there I am now.
What’s In It For You?
What have you done for yourself?
Take a good minute before you even open your mouth to answer this question. Your ego might instantly revert back and say, ‘Well, I took myself on a coffee date or I bought myself a car, an apartment, made money, passed college, and the list of everything that never came from your heart but was handed to you as a necessity to survive in the world.’
Let me tell you about my experience. The best thing you can do for yourself is to come back to yourself and find peace rooted deep within your heart.
You may think that if you just try a little harder or do this and that, wear this type of clothes and speak like that, take your pictures in a particular way and post it with that trending song then life would be so cool. You may think strength is what you need to build success for yourself. You may have a belief that a name, title, or achievement of a certain sort will make you feel peaceful.
But the truth is, PEACE IS WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
Peace is not something you have. Peace is the default nature of humans. However, the capitalistic economy pulled us away from our roots and made us believe that peace or happiness is a result of achievement. So we keep running in the same circle again and again until, well, we are suddenly 50 and realize, peace was right there, in your heart waiting for you to touch it and glow your life with your unique approach towards life.
The capitalistic economy and the so-called influencer world don’t want that. There is a reason why all of them just keep yelling the same word ‘strong’ again and again. When you try to become strong, you often take things more seriously than they are. You try to push more than essential. You try to work harder than you should. You just keep TRYING. Because this is what strong people do, right?
They never give up even if it’s killing them and then one day, everything works out. Isn’t that the plot of, like, every biography and self-made influencer speech?
Let me tell you one thing. They are trying to sell a story to you. A story that sounds appealing, moving, and relatable that you automatically start to believe, if you can become strong as well then you will be able to think better, work better, and thus, achieve your dream life.
The truth, however, is your dream life doesn’t even exist. Your dream life is just a reflection of what you have seen every rich person has. A reflection of what you think will get you respect from the world and make you happy.
So think again about what you are thinking.
In my belief, peace is where success lies. Firstly, it helps you to come back to yourself and feel that level of calmness that you thought was possible only for monks.
Secondly, peace helps you to WITHDRAW yourself away from society’s way of thinking. It kicks out the fear and helps you to sit back, relax, and listen to the initiative guides of your soul. It helps you understand yourself better and pay attention to the little to big desires of your heart. Peace makes you believe that what you want, and what you desire should be given a chance. It helps you to go for what excites your soul without thinking about failing or winning. Peace helps you to be yourself.
Tell me, if not that, then what can be our biggest achievement as humans can be?
Conclusion: How Can You Be At Peace?
To be at peace means to seek free hours.
Free hours means beginning to take some time out every day from your busy schedule and just sitting by yourself. Not doing anything. Not trying to be anything. Just give yourself the time to touch that part of yours that is the source of peace and calmness.
It’s not a one-day solution but rather a lifelong practice. For now, you obviously don’t have the habit of sitting alone and doing nothing so you might feel the itch to check your phone, and get some work done or your brain may play the trick of reminding you of something unpleasant. While other times, you may go through something tough in real life and that one thing will try to consume your thoughts — trying to make you believe that until everything gets better, you cannot be at peace.
But as I said, peace is who you truly are. Hence, irrespective of your situation, or current trained mindset, you will learn to be at peace. You will find an eternal source of joy and calmness always flowing through you. All you need is practice to be alone and not let the world make you believe in something that takes you away from who you are.
I hope this article helps you in finding peace and love deep within yourself so much so that you forget whether you are rich or not, successful by worldly definition or not.
If you want to read more from me, you can buy my book — The Magic of Creative Living.
